The Sunrise Whispered Her Name

When Hope and Grief Collide

January 11th will forever be etched in my memory and engraved upon my heart. For on this day nine years ago, we both welcomed and kissed good-bye our first granddaughter, Indigo Evangeline, for she was stillborn.

But she was Still. Born. Her life, though brief changed ours forever.

I don’t think anything prepares you for the shock of a stillborn child. Even the quaint terminology we sometimes use to describe pregnancy, “she is expecting a baby” belies our steadfast belief in an outcome.

Yet on that fateful day nine years ago, one day before her due date, Indie forever passed into the hands of Jesus.

I remember how jubilant that Christmas was before her coming, when we opened gifts, many for Indie in anticipation of her soon arrival. I even remember having purchased a gift for my oldest daughter which entailed making a donation to a non-profit organization who helped ensure healthy births for under privileged moms.

And how, in the days following Indie’s death I wondered at the irony of my helping other moms to experience healthy births and heathy babies, while I started at the ashes in front of me.

If you haven’t followed me long, or read my account of Indigo Evangeline’s coming, you can read it HERE.

I know many of my followers have experienced loss, especially pregnancy and child loss. I grieve with you. Not because I experienced the loss of Indie, but because through loss we understand loss.

Because through the fellowship of suffering we become one with Christ, and though at times we can only offer a Broken Hallelujah, we know this is not all there is. We know death holds not the final say, and a day is coming when God will make all things new.

If you are grieving a loss today, please know I grieve with you. Please know you are held by the God of ALL comfort, who will never leave you, you are not alone.

May God bring deep comfort to your hurting heart and surround you with His unfailing love and peace.

Today I share with you a poem I wrote in honor of Indie’s nineth birthday, inspired by this stunning sunrise photo I captured one morning in the garden at the hospice center where I work.

The lights on the trees are placed each in memory of a loved one lost by those who lost a dear one throughout the year. Indie’s light is there.

But as I looked back at this photo, I was struck by all of the Light. The lights on the trees representing the lives of those who touched other lives, the glorious sunrise in all its splendor, and even the lamp post.

Light breaking forth in darkness.

Hope, the eternal Light which no darkness can quench. The flawless beauty of this scene steals my breath away. This is Jesus Christ, stepping into the darkness of our grief, our brokenness, our suffering, reminding us nothing will ever separate us from His love.

A glimpse of the coming day when the Son Rise will come and darkness shall be no more, for the Light of the Lamb will be our light.

May my words bring comfort to you today.

Indigo Evangeline

The sunrise whispered

your name —

in hues of pinks, lavender,

Indigo.

Breaking forth in a

delicate smile—

good news, shining

sweet Evangeline.

Echoing the memory

of your coming —

brief as morning dew,

gone too soon.

Yet arms though empty

never forget

the beauty they held

but for a moment.

And hearts though broken,

embrace forever

what death can never hold —

Indigo Evangeline.